Friday, November 17, 2006

MY PENIS WINS FRIENDS AND INFLUENCES PEOPLE

MY PENIS WILL COMPOUND YOUR WIFE'S CUNT DAILY.

LET'S HAVE A NATIONAL CONVERSATION ABOUT MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS HERE TO STAY.

R.S.V.P. STANDS FOR "SUCK MY ROCK HARD PENIS."

THE LEFT SIDE OF MY PENIS IS AS PRETTY AS THE RIGHT SIDE.

MY BALLS ARE AMBIDEXTROUS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

MY PENIS NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION

MY PENIS IS ON A ROLL.

DEVOUT CATHOLIC NUNS RECITE MY PENIS CHAPTER AND VERSE.

MY SECRETARY IS TAKING HUGE SLURPING GULPS OF THE POWER LUNCH EMITTING FROM MY PENIS.

SLOPPY SECONDS DISAMBIGUATE YOUR PLACE IN THE PECKING ORDER.

SWEETLY TONGUING EACH BLUE VEIN IN MY PENIS IS A NOT A VALUE ADDED COMMODITY -- IT IS AN EXPECTED CORE COMPETENCY.

MY PENIS IS GAINING TRACTION INSIDE YOUR WIFE'S BLEACHED ANUS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

MY PENIS WILL STAY THE COURSE

MY PENIS PLAYS TO WIN.

MY PENIS HAS GREAT SYNERGY WITH YOUR WIFE'S CUNT.

UNLIKE YOUR PENIS, MY PENIS WILL NOT CUT AND RUN.

MY PENIS IS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

MY PENIS WILL SET BENCHMARKS, BUT NOT A TIMETABLE, FOR ITS WITHDRAWL FROM YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S MOANING MOUTH.

DOING ANAL WILL BE A GAME DAY DECISION AND ONE THAT WILL REST ENTIRELY ON MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

MY PENIS SENDS YOU TIDINGS OF LOVE

MY PENIS COMES ON-TIME AND UNDER-BUDGET EVERY FISCAL YEAR.

RUBBER DOES NOT BECOME HIM.

MY BALLS ARE IN PLAY.

MY PENIS IS OUT BECAUSE MY WOOL PANTS ARE ITCHY.

IT NEVER HURTS TO ASK ABOUT MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS LOVIN' IT.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

MY PENIS IS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

MY PENIS NEVER HAD A BAD DAY IN HIS LIFE.

MY PENIS IS TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED.

MY PENIS IS ALL THE HOT DOG YOU'LL NEED AT THE COMPANY PICNIC.

ACTUARIAL TABLES REVEAL THAT MY PENIS IS AT GREAT RISK OF PENETRATING YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HAIRY LIL' SNATCHEROO.

MY PENIS IS THE PAPAL BULL.

NUNS PRAY FOR MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

MY PENIS BRINGS HOME THE BACON

MY PENIS IS A VITAL PART OF THE WAR ON TERROR.

MY PENIS COMES ONLY IN ONE FLAVOR: HUGE.

YOUR EXIT INTERVIEW CONSISTS OF INTENSE SUCKING ON MY PENIS.

MY PENIS WAS THERE AT IWO JIMA.

NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, MY PENIS.

JOHN 3:16 SAYS, MY PENIS SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT IT GAVE ONE OF ITS THICK, HOT, AND SALTY BLASTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

MY PENIS IS ADORABLE

MY PENIS WAKES YOU UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

MY PENIS 'TIS OF THEE.

ANGELS PLAYING TRUMPETS HERALD THE COMING OF MY PENIS.

MY PENIS CONTROLS INTEREST RATE FLUCTUATIONS IN BETWEEN GIVING PEARL NECKLACES TO YOUR WIFE.

GATHER AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND SING SONGS ABOUT MY PENIS.

TRUST IS SPELLED "MY PENIS IS ALWAYS RIGHT."

MY PENIS IS A CAPTIN OF INDUSTRY.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

MY PENIS INVADES YOUR PERSONAL SPACE

IF YOU'RE GOING TO RUN YOUR MOUTH, RUN IT ON MY PENIS.

MY PENIS RUBS SOME PEOPLE THE WRONG WAY.

ASK NOT WHAT MY PENIS CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR MY PENIS.

UNLIKE YOUR WIFE'S VAGINA, MY PENIS APPRECIATES WITH AGE.

VICTORY IS MINE, SAITH MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS YOUR FUTURE AND THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Monday, June 12, 2006

MY PENIS TOLLS FOR THEE

MY PENIS SPITS WHITE TEARS OF JOY.

MY PENIS SEES RIGHT THROUGH YOU.

MY PENIS EARNS THE NICKNAME, "THE TEFLON DONG."

IN THE FUCK-O-METER OF LIFE, MY PENIS DANCES IN THE RED ZONE.

MY PENIS IS THE ONLY ONE HERE MAKING YOU MONEY, AND YOU STILL COMPLAIN.

YOUR WIFE IS NOTHING MORE THAN A MIDNIGHT SNACK.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

MY PENIS IS YOUR TICKET TO AMERICA

MY PENIS CAN DO NO WRONG.

MY PENIS WANTS YOU FOR YOUR WET, WARM VAGINA.

MY PENIS LOOKS DASHING IN HIS NEW SUIT.

I WILL NOT PROVIDE AMNESTY FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S COOCH.

MY BALLS HAVE THEIR OWN ZIP CODE.

MY PENIS IS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A GOOD HEAD-HUNTER.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Monday, May 01, 2006

MY PENIS COMPLETES YOU

MY PENIS IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR THE LIFE YOU CHOOSE.

THE COMING OF MY PENIS SIGNALS THE END OF THE AFFAIR.

MY PENIS RESIDES IN THE HALLS OF POWER.

VOTE FOR MY PENIS.

MY PENIS, RIGHT OR WRONG.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A RIDER IN MY PENIS' BUDGET AMMENDMENT.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

MY PENIS IS AN OUTSTANDING MEMBER OF THIS COMMUNITY

MY PENIS DOES NOT DABBLE.

MY PENIS IS LOOKING IN YOUR DIRECTION.

IT WILL BE OVER WHEN MY PENIS SAYS IT WILL BE OVER.

HIKE UP YOUR SKIRT AND PICK UP THE PENCIL GLUED TO THE FLOOR.

YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT MY PENIS' PROBLEMS.

MY PENIS WILL SLAP YOU AS A TEAM BUILDING EXERCISE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

MY PENIS LACKS THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE

MY PENIS WAS A LITTLE HARD ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND LAST NIGHT.

I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR SPOOGING ALL OVER THE ANNUAL REPORTS.

DOING ANAL IS NOT AN "OPTION."

MY BALLS ARE NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.

MY PENIS IS YOUR VACATION TIME.

THAT SALTY, FLESHY TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH IS NOTHING NEW.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Monday, April 10, 2006

MY PENIS IS A SURE-THING

MY PENIS MAKES MONEY HAND OVER FIST.

MY PENIS ACCEPTS VISA.

MY PENIS IS YOUR ONLY OPTION LEFT.

MY PENIS WILL NOT EVACUATE YOUR MOUTH ANY TIME SOON.

MY PENIS WILL LEAVE ITS MARK.

DON'T OVER-USE YOUR TEETH.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Friday, March 24, 2006

MY PENIS IS EXEMPLARY

MY PENIS KNOWS NO REMORSE.

MY PENIS SMACKS THE FACE OF REALITY WITH ITS BIG, PURPLE, BULBOUS HEAD.

NOBODY KNOWS THE TROUBLES MY PENIS HAS SEEN.

MY PENIS WILL NOT WRITE YOU A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION.

MY PENIS WALKS THE HALLS OF YOUR WIFE'S VAGINA ALONE.

MY BALLS ARE THE APPLES REFERRED TO IN "THE BIG APPLE."

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

MY PENIS IS A BIG SPENDER

EVERYONE HAS MY PENIS ON SPEED-DIAL.

ALL EMPLOYEES MUST DEAL WITH MY PENIS SOONER OR LATER.

MY PENIS REQUIRES A P.R. DEPARTMENT ALL ITS OWN.

ALL OF THE MUCILAGE IN THE OFFICE SUPPLY CLOSET HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH THE WHITE STUFF THAT SHOOTS OUT OF MY PENIS.

ON CASUAL FRIDAYS, ONLY HALF THE OFFICE HAS TO SUCK MY BALLS.

DAILY LUNCHTIME APPOINTMENTS WITH YOUR WIFE'S ASS ARE THE REASON WHY MY PENIS OFTEN STAYS TO WORK LATE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

MY PENIS IS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH

THE RUNGS ON THE CORPORATE LADDER ARE MERELY VEINS IN MY PENIS.

MY PENIS MEETS OR EXCEEDS ALL PERFORMANCE EXPECTATIONS.

YOUR RESUME HAS BEEN USED AS A SHOTRAG, AND MY PENIS PLANS TO ANALLY PENETRATE EVERY ONE OF YOUR REFERENCES.

MY PENIS HAS A COMPANY CAR, A COMPANY CELL PHONE, AND AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT MUCH GREATER THAN ANY OTHER PENIS.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILL TAKE DICK-TATION FROM MY PENIS IN HOT SPURTS ALL OVER HER CHEST LATER THIS EVENING.

MY PENIS HAS SHATTERED THE GLASS CEILING IN ORDER TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY BALLS.

MY PENIS GOT TWENTY-SEVEN HOME RUNS DURING THE COMPANY SOFTBALL GAME LAST SUMMER.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

MY PENIS RUMBLES IN YOUR JUNGLE

THE BUCK STOPS AT MY PENIS.

YOUR BUDGET REQUEST IS AWAITING APPROVAL FROM MY HAIRY BEAN BAGS.

MY PENIS IS NOT CRAZY, BUT IT WILL MAKE YOU CRAZY.

MY PENIS IS THE CADILLAC OF GENITALIA.

I HAVE PATENTED MY TESTICLES.

MY PENIS IS THE REASON WHY BREAST IMPLANTS ARE SO POPULAR.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

MY PENIS HAS AN ENORMOUS BUDGET

MY PENIS HAS A GREATER DISPOSABLE INCOME THAN ANY OTHER PENIS.

MY PENIS OWNS THE CONTROLLING STOCK OF YOUR WIFE'S SNATCH.

MY PENIS IS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED IN THE EXECUTIVE WASHROOM.

MY PENIS DEMANDS THE CORNER OFFICE AND GETS IT.

MY PENIS WILL NOT SUCK ITSELF.

MY PENIS IS CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE, AND WILL EXPRESS ITSELF BY SPOOGING ALL OVER YOUR STUPID, BAD-ATTITUDE FACE.

AT COMPANY BIRTHDAY PARTIES, MY PENIS IS ALWAYS THE GUEST OF HONOR.

MY PENIS KNOWS EXCEL, MICROSOFT WORD, POWERPOINT, ACCESS, AND PUBLISHER INSIDE AND OUT.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS DOMINATES THE MEDIA

MY PENIS IS THE ALPHA MALE OF THE BOARDROOM.

IN THIS WORLD, YOU ARE EITHER THE SUCKER OR THE SUCKEE.

MY PENIS ALWAYS TURNS A PROFIT.

MY PENIS PRODUCES THE STUFF FROM WHAT BABIES ARE MADE.

MY PENIS IS THE AMERICAN DREAM.

MY PENIS WILL NOT ATTEND YOUR SOIREE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.