MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

MY PENIS WINS FRIENDS AND INFLUENCES PEOPLE

2006-11-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS WILL COMPOUND YOUR WIFE'S CUNT DAILY.

LET'S HAVE A NATIONAL CONVERSATION ABOUT MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS HERE TO STAY.

R.S.V.P. STANDS FOR "SUCK MY ROCK HARD PENIS."

THE LEFT SIDE OF MY PENIS IS AS PRETTY AS THE RIGHT SIDE.

MY BALLS ARE AMBIDEXTROUS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION

2006-11-07T11:25:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS IS ON A ROLL.

DEVOUT CATHOLIC NUNS RECITE MY PENIS CHAPTER AND VERSE.

MY SECRETARY IS TAKING HUGE SLURPING GULPS OF THE POWER LUNCH EMITTING FROM MY PENIS.

SLOPPY SECONDS DISAMBIGUATE YOUR PLACE IN THE PECKING ORDER.

SWEETLY TONGUING EACH BLUE VEIN IN MY PENIS IS A NOT A VALUE ADDED COMMODITY -- IT IS AN EXPECTED CORE COMPETENCY.

MY PENIS IS GAINING TRACTION INSIDE YOUR WIFE'S BLEACHED ANUS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS WILL STAY THE COURSE

2006-10-25T15:26:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS PLAYS TO WIN.

MY PENIS HAS GREAT SYNERGY WITH YOUR WIFE'S CUNT.

UNLIKE YOUR PENIS, MY PENIS WILL NOT CUT AND RUN.

MY PENIS IS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

MY PENIS WILL SET BENCHMARKS, BUT NOT A TIMETABLE, FOR ITS WITHDRAWL FROM YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S MOANING MOUTH.

DOING ANAL WILL BE A GAME DAY DECISION AND ONE THAT WILL REST ENTIRELY ON MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS SENDS YOU TIDINGS OF LOVE

2006-10-04T07:23:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS COMES ON-TIME AND UNDER-BUDGET EVERY FISCAL YEAR.

RUBBER DOES NOT BECOME HIM.

MY BALLS ARE IN PLAY.

MY PENIS IS OUT BECAUSE MY WOOL PANTS ARE ITCHY.

IT NEVER HURTS TO ASK ABOUT MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS LOVIN' IT.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

2006-08-31T11:32:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS NEVER HAD A BAD DAY IN HIS LIFE.

MY PENIS IS TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED.

MY PENIS IS ALL THE HOT DOG YOU'LL NEED AT THE COMPANY PICNIC.

ACTUARIAL TABLES REVEAL THAT MY PENIS IS AT GREAT RISK OF PENETRATING YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HAIRY LIL' SNATCHEROO.

MY PENIS IS THE PAPAL BULL.

NUNS PRAY FOR MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS BRINGS HOME THE BACON

2006-08-29T11:47:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS IS A VITAL PART OF THE WAR ON TERROR.

MY PENIS COMES ONLY IN ONE FLAVOR: HUGE.

YOUR EXIT INTERVIEW CONSISTS OF INTENSE SUCKING ON MY PENIS.

MY PENIS WAS THERE AT IWO JIMA.

NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, MY PENIS.

JOHN 3:16 SAYS, MY PENIS SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT IT GAVE ONE OF ITS THICK, HOT, AND SALTY BLASTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS ADORABLE

2006-07-02T14:31:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS WAKES YOU UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

MY PENIS 'TIS OF THEE.

ANGELS PLAYING TRUMPETS HERALD THE COMING OF MY PENIS.

MY PENIS CONTROLS INTEREST RATE FLUCTUATIONS IN BETWEEN GIVING PEARL NECKLACES TO YOUR WIFE.

GATHER AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND SING SONGS ABOUT MY PENIS.

TRUST IS SPELLED "MY PENIS IS ALWAYS RIGHT."

MY PENIS IS A CAPTIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS INVADES YOUR PERSONAL SPACE

2006-06-28T08:13:00.000-07:00

IF YOU'RE GOING TO RUN YOUR MOUTH, RUN IT ON MY PENIS.

MY PENIS RUBS SOME PEOPLE THE WRONG WAY.

ASK NOT WHAT MY PENIS CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR MY PENIS.

UNLIKE YOUR WIFE'S VAGINA, MY PENIS APPRECIATES WITH AGE.

VICTORY IS MINE, SAITH MY PENIS.

MY PENIS IS YOUR FUTURE AND THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS TOLLS FOR THEE

2006-06-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS SPITS WHITE TEARS OF JOY.

MY PENIS SEES RIGHT THROUGH YOU.

MY PENIS EARNS THE NICKNAME, "THE TEFLON DONG."

IN THE FUCK-O-METER OF LIFE, MY PENIS DANCES IN THE RED ZONE.

MY PENIS IS THE ONLY ONE HERE MAKING YOU MONEY, AND YOU STILL COMPLAIN.

YOUR WIFE IS NOTHING MORE THAN A MIDNIGHT SNACK.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS YOUR TICKET TO AMERICA

2006-05-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS CAN DO NO WRONG.

MY PENIS WANTS YOU FOR YOUR WET, WARM VAGINA.

MY PENIS LOOKS DASHING IN HIS NEW SUIT.

I WILL NOT PROVIDE AMNESTY FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S COOCH.

MY BALLS HAVE THEIR OWN ZIP CODE.

MY PENIS IS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A GOOD HEAD-HUNTER.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS COMPLETES YOU

2006-05-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR THE LIFE YOU CHOOSE.

THE COMING OF MY PENIS SIGNALS THE END OF THE AFFAIR.

MY PENIS RESIDES IN THE HALLS OF POWER.

VOTE FOR MY PENIS.

MY PENIS, RIGHT OR WRONG.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A RIDER IN MY PENIS' BUDGET AMMENDMENT.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS AN OUTSTANDING MEMBER OF THIS COMMUNITY

2006-04-27T08:07:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS DOES NOT DABBLE.

MY PENIS IS LOOKING IN YOUR DIRECTION.

IT WILL BE OVER WHEN MY PENIS SAYS IT WILL BE OVER.

HIKE UP YOUR SKIRT AND PICK UP THE PENCIL GLUED TO THE FLOOR.

YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT MY PENIS' PROBLEMS.

MY PENIS WILL SLAP YOU AS A TEAM BUILDING EXERCISE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS LACKS THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE

2006-04-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS WAS A LITTLE HARD ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND LAST NIGHT.

I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR SPOOGING ALL OVER THE ANNUAL REPORTS.

DOING ANAL IS NOT AN "OPTION."

MY BALLS ARE NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.

MY PENIS IS YOUR VACATION TIME.

THAT SALTY, FLESHY TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH IS NOTHING NEW.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS A SURE-THING

2006-04-10T13:34:00.000-07:00

MY PENIS MAKES MONEY HAND OVER FIST.

MY PENIS ACCEPTS VISA.

MY PENIS IS YOUR ONLY OPTION LEFT.

MY PENIS WILL NOT EVACUATE YOUR MOUTH ANY TIME SOON.

MY PENIS WILL LEAVE ITS MARK.

DON'T OVER-USE YOUR TEETH.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS EXEMPLARY

2006-03-24T13:01:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS KNOWS NO REMORSE.

MY PENIS SMACKS THE FACE OF REALITY WITH ITS BIG, PURPLE, BULBOUS HEAD.

NOBODY KNOWS THE TROUBLES MY PENIS HAS SEEN.

MY PENIS WILL NOT WRITE YOU A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION.

MY PENIS WALKS THE HALLS OF YOUR WIFE'S VAGINA ALONE.

MY BALLS ARE THE APPLES REFERRED TO IN "THE BIG APPLE."

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS A BIG SPENDER

2006-03-09T09:09:00.000-08:00

EVERYONE HAS MY PENIS ON SPEED-DIAL.

ALL EMPLOYEES MUST DEAL WITH MY PENIS SOONER OR LATER.

MY PENIS REQUIRES A P.R. DEPARTMENT ALL ITS OWN.

ALL OF THE MUCILAGE IN THE OFFICE SUPPLY CLOSET HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH THE WHITE STUFF THAT SHOOTS OUT OF MY PENIS.

ON CASUAL FRIDAYS, ONLY HALF THE OFFICE HAS TO SUCK MY BALLS.

DAILY LUNCHTIME APPOINTMENTS WITH YOUR WIFE'S ASS ARE THE REASON WHY MY PENIS OFTEN STAYS TO WORK LATE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH

2006-02-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

THE RUNGS ON THE CORPORATE LADDER ARE MERELY VEINS IN MY PENIS.

MY PENIS MEETS OR EXCEEDS ALL PERFORMANCE EXPECTATIONS.

YOUR RESUME HAS BEEN USED AS A SHOTRAG, AND MY PENIS PLANS TO ANALLY PENETRATE EVERY ONE OF YOUR REFERENCES.

MY PENIS HAS A COMPANY CAR, A COMPANY CELL PHONE, AND AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT MUCH GREATER THAN ANY OTHER PENIS.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILL TAKE DICK-TATION FROM MY PENIS IN HOT SPURTS ALL OVER HER CHEST LATER THIS EVENING.

MY PENIS HAS SHATTERED THE GLASS CEILING IN ORDER TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY BALLS.

MY PENIS GOT TWENTY-SEVEN HOME RUNS DURING THE COMPANY SOFTBALL GAME LAST SUMMER.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS RUMBLES IN YOUR JUNGLE

2006-02-26T11:59:00.000-08:00

THE BUCK STOPS AT MY PENIS.

YOUR BUDGET REQUEST IS AWAITING APPROVAL FROM MY HAIRY BEAN BAGS.

MY PENIS IS NOT CRAZY, BUT IT WILL MAKE YOU CRAZY.

MY PENIS IS THE CADILLAC OF GENITALIA.

I HAVE PATENTED MY TESTICLES.

MY PENIS IS THE REASON WHY BREAST IMPLANTS ARE SO POPULAR.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS HAS AN ENORMOUS BUDGET

2006-02-22T10:34:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS HAS A GREATER DISPOSABLE INCOME THAN ANY OTHER PENIS.

MY PENIS OWNS THE CONTROLLING STOCK OF YOUR WIFE'S SNATCH.

MY PENIS IS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED IN THE EXECUTIVE WASHROOM.

MY PENIS DEMANDS THE CORNER OFFICE AND GETS IT.

MY PENIS WILL NOT SUCK ITSELF.

MY PENIS IS CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE, AND WILL EXPRESS ITSELF BY SPOOGING ALL OVER YOUR STUPID, BAD-ATTITUDE FACE.

AT COMPANY BIRTHDAY PARTIES, MY PENIS IS ALWAYS THE GUEST OF HONOR.

MY PENIS KNOWS EXCEL, MICROSOFT WORD, POWERPOINT, ACCESS, AND PUBLISHER INSIDE AND OUT.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS DOMINATES THE MEDIA

2006-02-22T09:37:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS IS THE ALPHA MALE OF THE BOARDROOM.

IN THIS WORLD, YOU ARE EITHER THE SUCKER OR THE SUCKEE.

MY PENIS ALWAYS TURNS A PROFIT.

MY PENIS PRODUCES THE STUFF FROM WHAT BABIES ARE MADE.

MY PENIS IS THE AMERICAN DREAM.

MY PENIS WILL NOT ATTEND YOUR SOIREE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS HAS SO MUCH TO TEACH YOU

2006-02-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT.

ULTRASOUNDS REVEAL THAT MY PENIS IS PREGNANT WITH LOVE.

MY PENIS WILL NOT COOK YOU PANCAKES IN THE MORNING.

MY PENIS IS ALWAYS STIFF AT COMPANY CHRISTMAS PARTIES.

DO NOT PRETEND THAT MY BALLS ARE NOT ON YOUR CHIN.

MY PENIS IS THE SECRET TO YOUR SUCCESS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS REMAINS TRIUMPHANT

2006-02-20T08:49:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS DEFIES KONDRATIEFF WAVES.

MY PENIS OWNS FIRST CLASS.

MY PENIS IS THE CAUSE CELEBRE.

OTHERS THINK MY PENIS IS EVIL YET WILL ENVY IT'S MAJESTY.

MY PENIS IS NOT HERE TO SELL YOU ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T ALREADY WANT.

MY PENIS BRINGS JOY TO THE MASSES.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS NUMBER ONE ON THE FORBES 500

2006-02-15T15:23:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS IS THE ENVY OF THE JET SET.

MY PENIS IS EERILY PRESCIENT.

MY PENIS IS IN A MEETING RIGHT NOW AND CAN NOT TAKE YOUR CALL.

JIZZ SATURATES THE EXECUTIVE SUITE.

MY SECRETARY MOANS FUNNY.

MY PENIS DESERVES ANOTHER PROMOTION.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS A GOOD BOSS TO MY BALLS

2006-02-14T09:41:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS IS CURRENTLY ENGAGED IN A HOSTILE TAKEOVER OF YOUR WIFE'S ASS.

MY PENIS PROVIDES NON-DAIRY CREAMER FOR THE ENTIRE OFFICE.

MY PENIS IS THE STAFF REFERRED TO IN "STAFF MEETINGS."

MY PENIS COMMUNICATES AND WORKS WELL WITH OTHERS EXCEPT FOR OTHER PENISES, WHICH IT DOMINATES.

MY PENIS FOLLOWS ALL OSHA REQUIREMENTS FOR SAFETY.

MY PENIS HOLDS SEVERAL PATENTS IN RELEVANT FIELDS OF ENDEAVOR.

YOUR CHRISTMAS BONUS WILL CONSIST OF SOFT KISSES TO THE HEAD OF MY PENIS, FOLLOWED BY A LARGE SEMINAL EXPLOSION THAT THE CLEANING CREW WILL TAKE CARE OF.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS THE COMPANY AGENDA

2006-02-14T08:32:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS IS BOTH PUBLICLY AND PRIVATELY HELD.

MY PENIS RECENTLY EMBARKED ON A JOINT VENTURE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S SNATCH.

CAPTIAL GAINS FROM THIS FY REVEALS YOUR LOW SPERM COUNT.

YOUR WIFE HAS ENGAGED IN A LIMITED PARTNERSHIP WITH MY HAIRY BEAN BAG.

INVESTMENT FUTURES FOR MY PENIS IS LOOKING UP.

AYN RAND IS MY PERSONAL CONCUBINE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS A FORMIDABLE OPPONENT

2006-02-13T12:12:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS IS PERCHED ATOP THE SOCIAL REGISTER.

MY PENIS IS BLUE BLOOD THROUGH AND THROUGH.

MY PENIS REVISED THE COMPANY'S SEXUAL HARRASSMENT POLICY.

MY PENIS KNOWS NO FEAR BUT IT DOES KNOW HOW YOUR WIFE'S CUNT SMELLS.

THE NASDAQ IS TRADING MY PENIS AT ALL TIME HIGHS.

THIS FISCAL YEAR, MY PENIS PRODUCED 600% MORE CHILDREN.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS GETS BROWN-NOSED ALL THE TIME

2006-02-13T09:59:00.000-08:00

REPRIORITIZE YOUR ACTION-ITEM LIST TO ACCOMODATE MY PENIS FIRST THING.

MY PENIS RECEIVES "EXCELLENT" RATINGS ON ALL PERFORMANCE REPORTS.

MY PENIS HAS NEVER FILED A SEXUAL HARASSMENT SUIT.

MY PENIS OFTEN STAYS LATE TO DO EXTRA WORK AT THE OFFICE.

SATISFYING MY PENIS IS A POPULAR TEAM-BUILDING EXERCISE.

MY PENIS HAS BEEN KNOWN TO FREQUENTLY RECEIVE ORAL DICTATION FROM YOUR LARGE-BOSOMED SECRETARY.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS DEMANDS A RAISE

2006-02-13T08:53:00.000-08:00

MY BALLS ARE MAJORITY STOCKHOLDERS.

PAMELA ANDERSON IS A WHORE ON MY COMPANY JET.

MY PENIS HAS BEEN PROACTIVE IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S MOUTH.

MY PENIS HAS A BUSINESS PLAN THAT WILL BLOW AWAY THE COMPETITION.

YOUR WIFE IS UPSET THAT MY PENIS DID NOT WANT TO CUDDLE.

I JIZZ ON YOUR GOLDEN PARACHUTE.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS IN CHARGE

2006-02-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS HAS TWO SETS OF BOOKS.

MY BALLS, WHICH ARE NOT ORPHANS, ARE COGS IN THE MACHINE.

NEXT TO MY PENIS, ALL OTHER PENISES ARE YES MEN.

YOU DO NOT SHAKE HANDS WITH MY PENIS; MY PENIS SHAKES HANDS WITH YOU.

THERE IS NO "I" IN TEAM, BUT THERE IS AN "I" IN MY PENIS.

J.P. MORGAN WAS A PIKER COMPARED TO MY PENIS.

MY PENIS HAS AMAZING BUSINESS ACUMEN.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS GAMBLES WITH YOUR MONEY

2006-02-12T19:28:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS LOVES TO PLAY THE STOCK MARKET.

MY PENIS HAS A 401K PLAN FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S ASS.

JISM IS NOW AVAILABLE IN THE CAFETERIA.

MY PENIS IS ENRON.

MY PENIS IS GUILTY OF INSIDER TRADING INSIDE YOUR WIFE'S VAGINA.

MY PENIS IS IN THE BLACK.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS LONG ON DETAILS

2006-02-12T19:15:00.000-08:00

MY PENIS HAS ABSURDLY HIGH PROFIT MARGINS.

TALK AROUND THE WATERCOOLER SAYS THAT YOUR WIFE PREFERS ME TO YOU.

MY PENIS HAS A CORNER OFFICE WITH WINDOWS THAT OVER-LOOK CENTRAL PARK.

MY SUIT IS TIGHT AROUND MY BALLS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY

2006-02-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

THE ANNUAL REPORTS ARE OUT AND IT APPEARS THAT YOU ARE UNDER PERFORMING.

MY PENIS PRODUCED A PROFIT OF 100% OVER LAST YEAR'S BUDGET.

MY PENIS SUCCESSFULLY MERGED WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND LAST NIGHT.

MY PENIS LOVES COMPANY PERKS AND WILL NOT BOW DOWN TO SHAREHOLDERS.

MY PENIS IS A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY.